Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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