When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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