they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
