ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
