some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
