oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
