Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
