My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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