it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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