just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize