Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
