at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm passing your future prison.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize