Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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