Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
