tonight lets celebrate not being married
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
