You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
