are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
