just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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