It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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