youre lurking in front of me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
