school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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