nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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