so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
