the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
