carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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