Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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