Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
