oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize