We're facebook friends in real life
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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