So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't deserve a penis
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
