I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize