i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
