The maid of honor just puked.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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