Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize