Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
