i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize