He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
