That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
