The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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