I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize