I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
