what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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