Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
