I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
