Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize