i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
