Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
