And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
