i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
