I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just tell him i said nine months
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
