The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
