my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
