The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
