his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
