question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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