Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
