my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
