I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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