He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize