scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
