saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sorry my hands just texted you
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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