let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
