Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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