don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
