You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
