i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize