That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
my liver is dry heaving
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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